{"id":1696,"date":"2017-12-18T18:13:04","date_gmt":"2017-12-19T02:13:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/b-spoke.net\/?p=1696"},"modified":"2026-06-29T22:00:29","modified_gmt":"2026-06-29T22:00:29","slug":"who-they","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/2017\/12\/18\/who-they\/","title":{"rendered":"There Is No ‘They’"},"content":{"rendered":"
A Four Minute Read.<\/h6>\n

At an unnamed expensive grocery-store-that-also-is-an-internet-bookseller, it took over 20 minutes to get a smoothie made. When the customer returned to attempt getting the correct drink prepared, he mentioned to the cashier\/smoothie-maker how long it had taken; with a What-Can-You-Do? Shrug told him, \u201cThey<\/em> <\/strong>are very short staffed today.\u201d<\/h3>\n

She was the only one working the counter.<\/h3>\n

Who is this \u201cThey\u201d that is short-staffed? \"people\"<\/a>\u201cThey\u201d implies someone else<\/u>: The Deli counter? Receiving? Regardless how well staffed \u201cThey\u201d are, it shouldn\u2019t impact \u201cour\u201d ability to produce smoothies. If she meant the Smoothie Division was short-staffed\u2026 Well, wouldn\u2019t that have been a \u201cWe are\u201d or an \u201cI am\u201d excuse?<\/p>\n

That is no small point. Last year, American companies spent 2.7 gajillion dollars promoting their brand images, and another 1.2 bazilllion dollars on organizational teambuilding initiatives. When an employee refers to her colleagues and corporation as \u201cthey\u201d, she is setting herself apart from the team, literally creating an Us vs. Them dynamic. She is saying to her customer, \u201cI am on your<\/u> side \u2013 it\u2019s these clowns around me that make me provide crappy service, wasting your time and money.\u201d<\/p>\n

Consciously or not, confusing \u201cWe\u201d and \u201cThey\u201d creates divisiveness and perpetuates internal conflict, while sending an antagonistic message to customers.<\/p>\n

It was the weekly production planning meeting\u00a0 and, drinking bad coffee laced with generic non-dairy creamer, sat the Chairman of the Company; his son, the President; his other son, the Vice President of Marketing; the Plant Manager, 27 years on the job and son of the previous Plant Manager; the Logistics Manager, brother-in-law of the Marketing VP; the Director of Human Resources, the President\u2019s wife, and; the Director of Operations (no relation).<\/h3>\n

The Marketing VP was in an existential panic over a new order, and the Logistics Manager and Ops Director were brainstorming potential solutions. As is typical in such so-called crises, responses involved throwing resources at the problem \u2013 labor, materials, production time. Every idea the two came up with was given the kibosh by the Plant Manager, with the reply: \u201cThey<\/em> will never allow that!\u201d<\/h3>\n

Operations asked him, \u201cWho\u2019s \u2018They\u2019?\u201d, to which he replied, \u201cYou know \u2013 The Company<\/strong>.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Who is \u201cThe Company\u201d if not the people in that room? If \u201cThey\u201d didn\u2019t like one of the ideas being shared, \u201cThey\u201d were certainly able to speak for themselves!<\/p>\n

Who is \u201cThey\u201d?<\/h4>\n

Hourly employees torque each other up \u2013 \u201cThey<\/em> said we can\u2019t do that\u201d, \u201cThey<\/em> wrote Jimmy up for that,\u201d \u201cThey<\/em> are taking that benefit away.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, clearly, \u201cThey\u201d must be management!<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s listen in on a management meeting:<\/p>\n

\u201cThey<\/em> never do what they\u2019re told.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t They<\/em> just include it in the report?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know why you keep making
\nexcuses for Them.<\/em> They<\/em> have to go!\u201d<\/p>\n

Wait. So Management thinks employees are \u201cThey\u201d and the Rank and File think Management is \u201cThey\u201d?<\/p>\n

If everyone is \u201cThey\u201d, then no one is \u201cThey\u201d.<\/p>\n

There Is No \u2018They\u2019<\/h4>\n

In my earliest process design facilitations, I discovered you \"\"would learn nothing about the Current State<\/a> if participants could play the \u201cThey\u201d card \u2013 it made the causes of problems unfindable, while absolving everyone of any accountability.<\/p>\n

So we banned the use of the word \u201cThey\u201d during these sessions.<\/p>\n

Literally, if anyone said the word \u201cThey\u201d, the rest of the team would call them out.<\/p>\n

Keep It Real.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We insisted that people use real names. This served two purposes \u2013one, it allowed everyone to clearly verbalize and understand what expectations had truly been set, by whom, and under what conditions. You can\u2019t follow up with \u201cThey\u201d about why the expense policy is the way it is, but you can circle back to Betty and find out what\u2019s going on.<\/p>\n

Second, it focuses the discussion on primary sources \u2013 which can be improved upon \u2013 as opposed to tribal knowledge, which is hard to fight. Pinpointing the actual meeting where instructions were conveyed, or the email that laid out rules of engagement, allows the team to clarify objectives and expectations, and improve where necessary.<\/p>\n

Does using real names risk creating conflict? You bet. But for teams to perform at their best, they need to seek out conflict before it metastasizes\u2013 not needlessly avoid it behind euphemisms, hoping it disappears. When everyone is playing by the same rules, it reduces the \u201cgotcha\u201d element and increases both accountability and transparency.<\/p>\n

Drill Baby, Drill.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Forcing discussions on specifics instead of the general \u201cThey\u201d also dramatically improves trouble-shooting efforts.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey don\u2019t care\u201d \u2013 something said at least once by every manager and employee everywhere\u2013 offers nothing. Who doesn\u2019t care? Bellmen? Cashiers? Boiler operators?<\/p>\n

Drilling down, \u201cThey\u201d becomes \u201cThe engineers don\u2019t care.\u201d Use names \u2013 which engineer(s)?<\/p>\n

\u201cThe industrial engineers!\u201d Not good enough!<\/p>\n

\u201cRandy doesn\u2019t care\u201d is better. Of course, we still need to articulate what Randy does \u2013 his observable behavior \u2013 that implies a lack of caring. But now we can go to Randy and find out why he does what he does.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t some faffing about with sophomore-year psychology. Randy may tell us he acts this way because of his understanding of priorities \u2013 which may conflict with the organization\u2019s. Or perhaps he has received conflicting direction from different supervisors. Or hasn\u2019t been trained how to do something properly. Or, in fact, maybe he just wants to be left alone, get his paycheck, and get the heck out of the building at shift\u2019s end.<\/p>\n

Whatever you discover, you can do something about. You would be helpless if you were chasing the ghosts of \u201cThey.\u201d<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t one of Binney\u2019s Laws \u2013 this practice of simply banning the word \u2013 but merely a Rule of Engagement. It spread beyond our sessions and became business-as-usual. In meetings and informal discussions alike, we all became attuned to the use of the word \u201cThey\u201d, consistently challenging each other to clarify. This helped reduce tensions in union negotiations, improved collaboration between the warehouses and the plant, and more.<\/p>\n

And, you know what they say \u2013 Nothing breeds success like success.<\/p>\n

Wait. Who said that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As long as we’re in the process of banning words, let’s get rid of an insidious term that thwarts accountability and makes it all-too-easy to become a Man of Excuses. Continue reading There Is No ‘They’<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2366,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[16,33,48,50,75],"class_list":["post-1696","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-managing-people","tag-binneys-laws","tag-expectations","tag-man-of-excuses","tag-meetings","tag-rules"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/them-featured.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1696"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1696\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2493,"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1696\/revisions\/2493"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thirdactmedia.com\/b-spoke\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}